CONSUMER REPORT

by Joanna Gilman Hyde

The Tomato-coloured Couch 4:15pm

I’m In The Murk

Of Identity Silver —

Our Cherished Cork Flooring

Blanketing The Upstairs —

My Tastes Are Being Tested

As Our New Downstairs Floor Covering

Is Stopped Mid-stream:

Identity Tea Cork Panels For The Family Room

Are Unexpectedly Bevel-edged —

Showing Every Seam

Personality Metallic Sky For The Living Room/Dining Room

Is Not The Pattern We Picked.

I Am Walled In With Boxes

Of Wicanders Cork Comfort

& A Meeting With Wilson’s Home Hardware 

Scheduled For Friday Morning

As They Too Went Uninformed

Not Only As To The Manufacturer’s Changes

In Edging & Patterning —

They Went Uninformed

As To The Core Thinning Of Specs:

A Sudden 10.5mm Of Total Panel Thickness

Downsized From Identity Silver’s Plush 12mm