The Hawk Deck 8:19am
Twelve weeks ago I took
My Last Pill of Olanzapine
and I am stable as I was meant to be
but have to deal with continued
sleep deprivation —
last night I got 61/2 hours
on 2 mgs of Ativan
which is better than the night before —
Eliza and Jon will see
My Sculpture this morning
as it sits on the kitchen counter
with Its Left Eye closed
and Its Right Eye
in Another World —
The Sun is out
and I have the freshness of September
coming into play
Tried to include title of new sculpture with image but it didn’t post for some reason. The title of the sculpture is “The Apparition” which I completed today and it ended up being different from what I had originally intended. I had originally envisioned “The Head of My Beautiful Dark Haired Woman” but when I executed the left eye closed and tried to do the same with the right eye, I got the idea of leaving one eye open. The pupil is The Star of David and the head remains hairless and now looks androgynous.
Also the sculpture has been removed from “My Blue Nose Plate” to a metal plate of Egyptian motif.
Joanna
The Hawk Queen Bed 7:14pm
“This Little Piggy Went To Market —
He was killed humanely
This Little Piggy Stayed Home
He watched TV with The Dog
This Little Piggy Ate Roast Beef
He didn’t like what He saw on Food Inc
This Little Piggy Had None
He was vegetarian
And This Little Piggy Went Wee Wee Wee
All The Way Home —
peeing in His pants”
The Hawk Queen Bed 4:38pm
Today on 2 hrs sleep
from 2 mgs Ativan
I began the sculpted head
of My Beautiful Dark Haired Woman
Who appeared on My Right Shoulder
in Roseway Hospital
October 1993
–
She said a lullaby in My Ear —
the most melodious voice I had ever heard
and today I have swaddled a Styrofoam core
in thin slices of plasticine
hyperventilating as I went
hearing My Son’s suggestion
from yesterday’s walk on The Hawk Beach —
“Mom, why don’t You just
exhaust Your Self?”
every slice
from a red-handled knife My Brother gave Me
pushed Me on to panel the form —
My Goal was to cover it, and I did
after carving HTWH in the Styrofoam skull
resting on My Ceramic Bluenose Plate
My Keepsake from the childhood crossings
in that vessel from Bar Harbor, Maine
to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia
when I was so happy
with My Little Family
of Mother, Brother and Me
The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 4:05pm
Tonight We’re having a dinner party
for My Two Children
My Daughter’s Boyfriend
and a tree-planting friend
I haven’t met.
The Table is set
with Silver and a new package
of steak knives.
I am wearing a new top
bought with Eliza in Yarmouth —
it’s the colour
of Chamomile Tea
drunk from one surviving mug
of My Grandmother’s
served for My Tea
with milk and sugar
after ballet lessons
The Hawk Queen Bed 8:54am
I could write It now
while My Husband is in The Tub —
It’s all set up
in the heart of the USA —
The World’s Largest Slaughter House
when The Aliens decide to eat Us
They could herd Us along
the metal gates
the miles of trucking routes
in packed containers
to The Killing Chambers
where We would slide
down against steel floors
compressed
maybe 50 at a time
and dumped out onto The Cutting Boards
sliced
strung
savored
The Hawk Dining Room 9:45am
Last Night I stayed up
with Eliza to watch
a food production documentary
about the over-crowding
of chickens and cows
and pigs herded
into killing chambers
designed by humans to do just that —
having The Life
squeezed out
of half a dozen pigs
at a time —
I got one hour of sleep
and My Daughter refused
to have coffee with me
Joanna Gilman Hyde 