joannagilmanhyde

"Good Morning, World!"

Month: August, 2016

WEEK 12

The Hawk Deck 8:19am

Twelve weeks ago I took

My Last Pill of Olanzapine

and I am stable as I was meant to be

but have to deal with continued

sleep deprivation —

last night I got 61/2 hours

on 2 mgs of Ativan

which is better than the night before —

Eliza and Jon will see

My Sculpture this morning

as it sits on the kitchen counter

with Its Left Eye closed

and Its Right Eye

in Another World —

The Sun is out

and I have the freshness of September

coming into play

 

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NOTICE OF SCULPTURE TITLE

Tried to include title of new sculpture with image but it didn’t post for some reason.  The title of the sculpture is “The Apparition” which I completed today and it ended up being different from what I had originally intended.  I had originally envisioned “The Head of My Beautiful Dark Haired Woman” but when I executed the left eye closed and tried to do the same with the right eye, I got the idea of leaving one eye open.  The pupil is The Star of David and the head remains hairless and now looks androgynous.

Also the sculpture has been removed from “My Blue Nose Plate” to a metal plate of Egyptian motif.

Joanna

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PRAYER FOR THE PIGS

The Hawk Queen Bed 7:14pm

“This Little Piggy Went To Market —

He was killed humanely

This Little Piggy Stayed Home

He watched TV with The Dog

This Little Piggy Ate Roast Beef

He didn’t like what He saw on Food Inc

This Little Piggy Had None

He was vegetarian

And This Little Piggy Went Wee Wee Wee

All The Way Home —

peeing in His pants”

THE APPARITION

The Hawk Queen Bed 4:38pm

Today on 2 hrs sleep

from 2 mgs Ativan

I began the sculpted head

of My Beautiful Dark Haired Woman

Who appeared on My Right Shoulder

in Roseway Hospital

October 1993

She said a lullaby in My Ear —

the most melodious voice I had ever heard

and today I have swaddled a Styrofoam core

in thin slices of plasticine

hyperventilating as I went

hearing My Son’s suggestion

from yesterday’s walk on The Hawk Beach —

“Mom, why don’t You just

exhaust Your Self?”

every slice

from a red-handled knife My Brother gave Me

pushed Me on to panel the form —

My Goal was to cover it, and I did

after carving HTWH in the Styrofoam skull

resting on My Ceramic Bluenose Plate

My Keepsake from the childhood crossings

in that vessel from Bar Harbor, Maine

to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia

when I was so happy

with My Little Family

of Mother, Brother and Me

WEEK 11

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 4:05pm

Tonight We’re having a dinner party

for My Two Children

My Daughter’s Boyfriend

and a tree-planting friend

I haven’t met.

The Table is set

with Silver and a new package

of steak knives.

I am wearing a new top

bought with Eliza in Yarmouth —

it’s the colour

of Chamomile Tea

drunk from one surviving mug

of My Grandmother’s

served for My Tea

with milk and sugar

after ballet lessons

MEAT PACKING

The Hawk Queen Bed 8:54am

I could write It now

while My Husband is in The Tub —

It’s all set up

in the heart of the USA —

The World’s Largest Slaughter House

when The Aliens decide to eat Us

They could herd Us along

the metal gates

the miles of trucking routes

in packed containers

to The Killing Chambers

where We would slide

down against steel floors

compressed

maybe 50 at a time

and dumped out onto The Cutting Boards

sliced

strung

savored

A SIGN OF SLEEP

The Hawk Queen Bed 8:39pm

The Other Day when I did The Laundry

a spiky caterpillar stuck to the wall

of Our Green Bed Room —

the next time I saw Him

He had crawled to the far wall

with its big windows

and tonight

I see He has wrapped Himself up

where the wall meets the ceiling

in a cozy cocoon

so I can keep an eye

on His Emergence

THE EATING OF UNHAPPINESS

The Hawk Dining Room 9:45am

Last Night I stayed up

with Eliza to watch

a food production documentary

about the over-crowding

of chickens and cows

and pigs herded

into killing chambers

designed by humans to do just that —

having The Life

squeezed out

of half a dozen pigs

at a time —

 I got one hour of sleep

and My Daughter refused

to have coffee with me