Musing
Eye sat in my black car
in a short red dress
in front of Tim Horton’s
and thought
This is what prostitutes do
Eye sat in my black car
in a short red dress
in front of Tim Horton’s
and thought
This is what prostitutes do
Eye caught the eye
of an Indian man
sitting at an outdoor drinking stand
Eye was wearing a new black bra
under a sleeveless pant-dress thing
black with small floral print
as Eye walked past
Eye am a single Love Bird
bereft of its mate
Eye had a vision
to propell me through the last 28 years
The Vision of The Union
with one other
— a little man
who wanted to fly —
What is the call
of The Love Bird?
Something Eye have never
heard
She looked at me with eyes so blue
and wore a sweater that colour too
She sang this song
and I told Her it was a song for me —
“I wish I had someone to love me
someone to carry me home
someone to call me their own
I wish I had someone to love me
I’m tired of living alone
If I had the wings of an angel
over these prison walls I would fly
I would fly to the arms of my darling
there I’d be willing to die”
She sang this song
while She waited
to have supper
at Her Mother’s
The call of The Jay
is from my childhood
The Gull my present day
The Crow is of my new reality
The Willet Jordan Bay
The Chickadee is my mother
as the window opens wide
Eye sit to listen as I’m told
and always question Why
On what would have been
My 34th Anniversary to Eva’s first son
Eye fed Her a lunch
of 4 bites of turkey
1 bowl of Mandarin orange slices
and a banana brought in from the car
She asked for another cup
of coffee
and had me feel Her Legs —
bare calves below short capris —
She told me They were cold
and she was right.
Eye asked for a blanket
and when it came
Eye wrapped it around
as best I could
to sit with Her awhile longer
but then a nurse appeared
and Eva was wheeled away
Last night eye drove with Dr Blair
on the spur of the moment
to Shut-down Halifax
in His Black Mobster Car
usually used by His Girlfriend
to turn in for one night
a wild night
to The Prince George Hotel
where Eye had The Dream of A Lifetime
@ 4:30 am —
It was theatrical and questionable
and highly energetic
and Eye woke from the end
lying on a floor encased in warmth
with the comforting licking
of My Former Husband
in My Right Ear
Eye have lived a divided love life:
Peter was and is the father
of my three children
since 1987
David has had my heart
since 1993
butt he’s married
Hunter had my twat
since 1999
butt Eye got mad at him —
he claims Eye gave what we had
away —
so now Eye have my self
without a man
and Eye am a woman
who needs a man
for family
for heart
for gratification
and for partnership
Eye have never had a partner
for my art
Eye just saw My Mother
flitting in My Apple Tree —
It’s dead, The Tree
but here She was
A Chickadee
Our skin on our cheek
does not have to peel away
from the palm it rests upon.
We could keep on walking
if we had somewhere to go
and a little help to get us there.
We do not have to lose our teeth.
We do not have to lose our minds
if others can relate to us on some level.
We do not have to stop sex.
We can keep on living
if we take care of ourselves
and if others help us
to care for ourselves.
