Joanna Gilman Hyde

On what would have been

My 34th Anniversary to Eva’s first son

Eye fed Her a lunch

of 4 bites of turkey

1 bowl of Mandarin orange slices

and a banana brought in from the car

She asked for another cup

of coffee

and had me feel Her Legs —

bare calves below short capris —

She told me They were cold

and she was right.

Eye asked for a blanket

and when it came

Eye wrapped it around

as best I could

to sit with Her awhile longer

but then a nurse appeared

and Eva was wheeled away

Last night eye drove with Dr Blair

on the spur of the moment

to Shut-down Halifax

in His Black Mobster Car

usually used by His Girlfriend

to turn in for one night

a wild night

to The Prince George Hotel

where Eye had The Dream of A Lifetime

@ 4:30 am —

It was theatrical and questionable

and highly energetic

and Eye woke from the end

lying on a floor encased in warmth

with the comforting licking

of My Former Husband

in My Right Ear

Eye have lived a divided love life:

Peter was and is the father

of my three children

since 1987

David has had my heart

since 1993

butt he’s married

Hunter had my twat

since 1999

butt Eye got mad at him —

he claims Eye gave what we had

away —

so now Eye have my self

without a man

and Eye am a woman

who needs a man

for family

for heart

for gratification

and for partnership

Eye have never had a partner

for my art

Eye just saw My Mother

flitting in My Apple Tree —

It’s dead, The Tree

but here She was

A Chickadee

Our skin on our cheek

does not have to peel away

from the palm it rests upon.

We could keep on walking

if we had somewhere to go

and a little help to get us there.

We do not have to lose our teeth.

We do not have to lose our minds

if others can relate to us on some level.

We do not have to stop sex.

We can keep on living

if we take care of ourselves

and if others help us

to care for ourselves.

Eye got up to dance

to Sweet Child of Mine

then switched to classical

on the French Radio Station.

Eye fed Astro his half can

and the others their treats

(so as not to discriminate)

& cleaned their litter.

Eye put the dishes away.

Eye made my decaf

and got out the glass table tops

for my wrought iron deck furniture

& one folding wooden chair

from a yard sale at the church

where my writers group meets.

The Cats are with me

out here on the deck —

We are together

with the wafting radio

and the bird song

Eye love.