The SHLONG SPEAKS:

by Joanna Gilman Hyde

Dr Blair, on the night of August 14, 1999

Eye made you sign a contract for sex.

Eye would like to renew that contract,

update it by 19 years to include

hotel, food, gas, all extraneous expenses

+ $500.00 upfront per 24 hour period

of My Companionship.

Is this too much to ask for the continuation

of what was a marriage based

solely on sexuality?