Joanna Gilman Hyde

"Good Morning, World!"

Tag: mother

MY DAUGHTER

The Hawk Queen Bed 9:34pm

Eliza sat out on My Deck

at the glass topped table with Her Music

weighed down by a fossilized snail from B. C.

Her Back was to My Sliding Glass Doors

She played Her Guitar

with Her Very Blond Hair

waving slightly

in the evening air

She didn’t want Me with Her

She said She couldn’t concentrate

and so I looked through

from The Kitchen

at Her Cable Knit Sweater

and tree-planting shoulders arched

over the musical instrument

I bought for Her 13th Birthday

WEEK 7

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 2:16pm

I have planted My First Rose Bush

“Knock-out Pink”

under Our New Sign saying The Blairs

in iridescent white

printed with a Blue Jay —

Chicken Polenta is made for The Kids

and can be baked anytime

and We’ve been invited to Their Grandfather’s

Memorial Service Friday Afternoon —

tomorrow night My Tree-planting Darlings

and one Mexican Collie

are to be collected

from the airport four hours away

and I will be making ham sandwiches

to take

and a Duncan Hines carrot cake

fortified with chopped pecans

just to have on hand

ONE LOST PAINTING

The Hawk West Desk Window 7:28pm

It filled My Mother’s Sun Deck

during a student year

I used a lot of black

with three blotches of red

positioned unintentionally like cherries

on a banana split

I left It out overnight

when the wind got up

and stuck the paint with leaves

and shaped the canvas

into a highlighted streak

of accidental luminosity

WEEK 6

The Hawk Deck 10:10am

I have said Good-bye

to My Darling Cow Bird

Whose love affair with My Car Mirror

is gone

He bowed off with another

female two weeks ago —

I have said Hello

to My Husband

and will be hanging The Bedding

in Our Hot Sun

I will be playing

The Cow Bird’s Song

on an internet recording

for The Arrival

of My Children

one week

tomorrow

HELICOPTER ART

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 12:06pm

At 13 I flew

in a helicopter

off the Mc Nutt Island Light Station

to Baccaro, Nova Scotia

and decided to become

a helicopter pilot

doing art on the side

At 15 for My Birthday

My Mother provided

My First and Only Lesson

and took a photograph

a double exposure

of Me with My Braid

belting My Self in

At 16 I drove My Mother’s VW Square Back

to Spring Valley, New York

to go for a ride

and had the pilot buzz

Nyack High School —

when We got back to the pad

I tried to leave

without paying

At 18 I couldn’t get in

to The Coast Guard Academy in Connecticut

because of poor eyesight

and went to Wells College instead

taking all the art

I could take

to transfer into

The Cooper Union for The Advancement of Science and Art

ASIDE FROM MY PERFECT PREGNANCY IN 1994

The Hawk Deck 4:04pm

Since that first spring of 1993

with a ten-minute diagnosis of schizophrenia

crowning My Head after My Mother’s Death

and a summer’s hospitalisation for depression

when a psychiatric nurse tried to assure Me

“There will be other summers” —

how could She have known

there wouldn’t be a straight one

until now, twenty-three years later,

when My Second Husband

allows Me to throw

My Bed-thrashing Knees

across His Hip

in the dead of night

and reads My Extensive Medical Records

on His Lunch Break

to find out what happened?

JUST HOW BAD WAS I?

The Hawk Deck 12:05pm

On this very beautiful day

in July

just how bad was I

when I insisted to My Husband

on December 18

that I go back to the hospital

dressed in a black negligee

bare feet

and bullet proof vest?

Just how bad was I

when My Children came home

that Christmas

and left My House?

I was on

a double dose of Olanzapine

the poison I have been off

now for one month

of nearly halcyon existence

I need My Children —

They can help Me change

the music in My Car

from Joy Division and Future Islands

to something new and cogent

LAST LEG

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 4:30pm

I have come through

an oven of madness

I have been broiled

and poked

for The Life of My Daughter

for My Son since He was five

when I made a pact

with My Self

that I would never feel

the pain of the loss

of My Mother

and found instead

the love that sustained Me

through My Temperature Gage

of Molten Silver

and Highest Reverie

I have spoken

of My Vile Nature

black with burnt offerings

of Salvation

for The Masses

yet to come

I am out

on the table

for dinner with My Starving Family

My Ex Husband I loved

in the sun

of Our First House,

a tiny one

I am out,

reposing

to be eaten now

with Mint Jelly

from the shady side

of My Mother’s Well

 

CROSSINGS

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 6:14pm

I missed the cutest waddle

of a mother duck and Her Ducklings

crossing The Hawk Road

while I was zooming

sleep-deprived

to get to The Little Store —

I swerved to avoid the adorable clutch

and got mad at My Self

but not mad enough to slow down

in time to take in

the rare amusement

of Their very serious venture

THE LONGEST DAY OF THE YEAR

Down On The Hawk Beach 4:15pm

I am sitting beside a rock

and Oh not just any rock —

it’s a rock the size and shape

of a giant brain tumour,

brown and cut apart at the edges —

it doesn’t scare Me anymore

I listen to the waves instead

at My Right —

the rock is to My Left and I will go

away from it

as quietly

as I came upon it