JUST HOW BAD WAS I?

by joannagilmanhyde

The Hawk Deck 12:05pm

On this very beautiful day

in July

just how bad was I

when I insisted to My Husband

on December 18

that I go back to the hospital

dressed in a black negligee

bare feet

and bullet proof vest?

Just how bad was I

when My Children came home

that Christmas

and left My House?

I was on

a double dose of Olanzapine

the poison I have been off

now for one month

of nearly halcyon existence

I need My Children —

They can help Me change

the music in My Car

from Joy Division and Future Islands

to something new and cogent