JUST HOW BAD WAS I?
The Hawk Deck 12:05pm
On this very beautiful day
in July
just how bad was I
when I insisted to My Husband
on December 18
that I go back to the hospital
dressed in a black negligee
bare feet
and bullet proof vest?
Just how bad was I
when My Children came home
that Christmas
and left My House?
I was on
a double dose of Olanzapine
the poison I have been off
now for one month
of nearly halcyon existence
I need My Children —
They can help Me change
the music in My Car
from Joy Division and Future Islands
to something new and cogent
Joanna Gilman Hyde 