Yesterday Eye saw the face
of My X close up
perhaps for the last time.
His eyes had faded
His skin was gaunt
His hair thin & straight —
Eye didn’t like him.
Today For Easter
Eye wrote on Facebook
“He Is Risen”
can be interpreted as
Morning Erection.
Eye dressed in floor-length silk
with stippled leopard print, pale
like the blonde fur coat, vintage
Eye wore with gold dangly earrings
given to My Mother by My Father
in Africa —
Eye only wished Eye could have crashed
My X’s Easter Dinner Party
& would have done so gleefully
if only Eye knew which trailer
He was in.
Why did Eye send out
one hundred and fifty
hand-made invitations
to a wedding Eye didn’t want?
Standing trembling by a girthy tree
in a Doctor’s back yard —
Eye have no memory
of taking His Hand —
Eye have no memory of Him
at the reception
as Eye sat beside My Cake
with no memory of taking a bite
while My Father served punch
at My Behest
Eye wake to write
of the boy with dirty neck
who put a dime
in my 4th grade desk
and tried to give me
one breathy kiss —
now to be invited
by an old old man
with teeth of brown
(if he has any left)
to accompany him
to The Lions Hall
Breakfast
Eye do not have a significant other
Eye do not have a partner, husband
boyfriend or lover
Eye have my friends male & female
my two living children, a dead brother
Eye do not have My Mother
and dreampt of Her in Jordan Bay
at The House Eye cleaned
over red Chinese rugs with a fire
where Eye decided to stay
Thirty years ago today
The Doctor came into M(eye) Room.
Eye asked Him What Had Happened To Me
and This is What He Said:
“You won’t find anything about This
in medical text books
but Some People
Who have had these kinds of Experiences
are called SEERS.”
M(eye) Shower of Silver Lights
can never be deminished
try as You might
to say It came from sleep deprivation
four days after M(eye) Mother died —
say It was an hallucination
(technically It was that — but so much MORE)
It came from M(eye) Brain —
but the trigger?
Eye never could have drempt It up
not like Eye foresaw M(eye) Daughter
before She was conceived —
Eye could never have imagined
The Pulsating Spears
The Inexorable Vision
crashing down around Me
from a cathedral ceiling —
What Pray Tell
was Its Source??
For a dozen years
Eye possessed My Imperial Cat
Big & Black
But Where Is He Now?
Oh Eye know where His Body Lies —
He was buried by My Daughter Eliza
on the top of a hill
by a river bank
in Port Clyde —
but WHERE IS HE?
On This Eve
of The 30th Anniversary
of My Mother’s Death
Eye reconcile loss
in the form of 2 Daughters:
Born of Death
Born of Light
Born of Miss-under-standing
One Blonde & One Dark
One thriving on Time & Money
One killed prematurely on The Morning
marked March 27th, 1997
One Who questions costume bling
on My Left Ring Finger
One Who is marked
by The Heart of Gold
on My Right —
One named Eliza —
One named Maria —
These 2 Daughters O’Mine
recount the hours, decades lost
from these 30 years
this half of My Life so far
on the way to the next third —
They grow with Me
Older
Eliza already fretting
about “aging”
Maria ageless —
Eye carry Them, heavy
but worth every ounce
Gully has A New Girlfriend
at least that’s what Eye think
She is
He sits with Her by The Scraggly Apple
& flies to The Deck Rail
to be offered a piece of deli ham
but repeatedly flies back down
to His slightly smaller compatriot
as if to say to Me:
Now feed Her too
Joanna Gilman Hyde 