by Joanna Gilman Hyde

The Hawk Living Room 2:22pm

I was trying to re-write an excerpt

from My Shredded Manuscript

but I failed.

It was about

The New Millennium’s New Year’s Eve Party For The Second Coming of Christ

thrown by Me

The Second Coming — all sexual innuendos intact —

where I would be in a plane loaded with champagne

(the plane, not Me)

flying into earlier and earlier time zones

appearing at the head of the plane

naked, handing out champagne to all invitees at each airport

and The Whole World would be invited

but the dress requirement would be Come Naked.

I failed

to recount all the reasons why each nationality would want to attend

regardless of the weather

but the US would have wanted to know who else was going before they would accept

the invitation

Oh, and the Muslim countries would not be able to accept

because they cover their woman at all times

and would not allow them to disrobe for any occasion and besides, they don’t drink.

The rest of the world would be offended

by The Muslim Countries not going, so

MY PARTY FOR THE WHOLE WORLD could never happen

and the world would remain in conflict for the rest of time.