DIRECTIONS

by Joanna Gilman Hyde

The Tomato-coloured Couch 6:33pm

How not to change lives & still sleep

in 3 easy steps:

1) Buy 22 Bars of Silver & lock Them in The Bank

2) Don’t buy a funny-shaped House on The Hawk

to rent to Kristine Zoodedoo

or Hunter’s Secretary

Who said She would move to The Hawk

like a tornado

3a) Don’t ask Your Daughter repeatedly

for Her Opinion on kitchen design features

3b) Eat left-over macaroni

& drink plenty of water out of the tap

of Your Tawdry Fridge