Dear Diary —
I watched Eliza
dab at Her Hair in The Dining Room Mirror
& realized “My Daughter Has The Power To Kill”
while I became immortalized
at the age of eighteen
by telling My Only Real Boyfriend:
“You’re Just Another Face, Another Dick”
To Sing The Song of The Hummingbird
I write to say I Saw One Today
buzzing in Our bedraggled Apple
& finding Nothing There
buzzed away beyond The House —
I may never see Its Greenness again
What would Its sight portend?
–
I drove with Eliza
& Her First Serious Boyfriend Tyler
to La Creamy Treat in Pubnico
on The Highway Home
Two Flying Objects hit the wind shield
Eliza, driving, pronounced “I killed
Two Hummingbirds with One Car –”
Tyler, from The Back Seat
resolutely announced “I saved
A Hummingbird caught in a Spider Web”
The Fog has sunk
into My Left Shoulder
–I can’t do The Laundry–
–I shouldn’t even be writing–
Peak & Eliza have gone to Lunenburg
with Their Father & His Family
My Day Is Grey
but I’m OK–
isn’t that awful?
When I was 17
I deliberately lost My Virginity
to a French Brooklyn Jew Drug Dealer
–He was 27–
So tonight I’m making home made Pizza
for Eliza & Her First Serious Boyfriend
Who’s just been met
in Port Clyde
by Father, Aunt & Uncle
& Grandparents
& after the Pizza
They’re driving to Yarmouth
to watch “Campaign”
while I run the Dishwasher
I’m sitting on My Tomato-coloured Couch
eating a “croisant”–
Eliza gets mad at Me
for NOT pronouncing the “R”–
She’s off on a 7-hour drive
to Cape Breton
towing a trailer of sail boats
& She’s still 17–
leaving Her First Serious Boyfriend
for 5 days
steering the Escape steering wheel
with Her Left Knee
while She Texts Him
It was a lawn I mowed
in a peach bikini
when I was sixteen
now covered over with blackberry brambles
thigh high
up to the open front door
no longer entered
–
It was My Grandparents’ summer house
yellow & white
with yellow & orange roses climbing
with nasturtiums on the entry deck
vegetable garden by the sea
where parsley grew
& where My Grandmother sent Me
to pick a few sprigs for Our Supper
on The Sun Porch
For Eliza’s First Camping Trip
with A Boy
She & He bought A Six-man Tent
A Pink Fishing Rod
They rigged & set minnow traps
out of plastic pop bottles
& just drove out Our Driveway
in The Boy’s Big Black Truck
to get last-minute groceries
–
Eliza’s Made Reservations for Their Grounds–
Camp Fires are Regulated
The Fire Index is High
Super Store, Yarmouth, Nova Scotia
From Super Store Bathroom Stall
to a toddler:
“Yes, We bought lots —
for Josie, Mom & Dad —
so We won’t run out”
–
By The Dressing Room
beyond open cartons from China & Cambodia
to a little girl showing off Her Dress:
“Yes, that’s a beautiful dress —
hold onto Your Balloon!”
–
On The Deck of Rudder’s:
3 burly fishermen
w/ 2 skinny Japanese fish buyers
& One Gull
Who landed on a table
behind Eliza —
My Seventeen-year-old Daughter
Who rode to Yarmouth
with the latest Vogue
open on Her Lap
–
I came home with a Solid Gold
floor mat
for My Kitchen
INDUCTING THE BLACK SWAN
I have seen The Post Card
from Tommy of Mexico
wilted on My Daughter’s Mirror
across from Her Bed
where I first met
The Boyfriend of Currency
–
Today I do The Laundry
Dressed In Black:
Black Tank, Black Capris
with My Silver Necklace
& Silver Hoops
–
Hunter, My Practising Husband/Doctor
may not go to Work
tomorrow
and I may not
see a friend
Joanna Gilman Hyde 