THE SOBEY’S PARKING LOT 5:15pm
I Was First In Line
For My Abortion
& I Claimed It:
Him/Her I Kept
Forever In My Shattered Heart
In The Next Room Over
From That Waiting Room
Full
Of Silent Women
I Was First In Line
For My Abortion
& I Claimed It:
Him/Her I Kept
Forever In My Shattered Heart
In The Next Room Over
From That Waiting Room
Full
Of Silent Women
My Daughter & I
came back from The Beach
I hung Our Towels on The Line
I checked My Blog
to find a New Follower
soulblindministry
whose Donate Heart
was just like Mine
(My Daughter didn’t think so)
just like Mine
in My Eye Am
painting
Just Like Mine
The Hawk Kitchen 2:32pm
Joanna Gilman Hyde Blair must be a Throwback to The Fifties:
White Stay-At-Home Mom
3rd Wife to A Silver Haired Doctor
Moderate Drinker — Would Like To Smoke
NOT A CHURCH GOER
Eats Red Meat & Lots Of It
Likes To Shop but Considers Cost
Doesn’t Care (very much) What She Drives
As Long As It Works
Has Been Seen Eating @ MacDonalds
In An Off-The-Shoulder Oprah Evening Dress
My Host picked Me up in The Late Afternoon
March 31st 1993
I wasn’t ready still in My Bathrobe
My Host patted Me “Don’t worry You can take It off
when We get there — They’ll be Delighted”
We arrived early
at Windows On The World
at the coat check where men without jackets
borrow jackets I disrobed
walked in on The Arm of My Host
to be seated at A Table for Three
My Host coaxed “What would You like to drink?”
“I Think Old-fashioned” It came
It came again and We switched
to Champagne
The Menus appeared
I couldn’t make up My Mind
My Host had to indicate The Appetizer:
Oysters On The Half Shell and Someone
dropped in A Pearl for Me to find
for Me to contemplate
I turned The Pearl in My Mind
questioning Its Meaning while
My Host laughed
“That’s Nothing!”
On Came The Lights
The Chandeliers
from the ceiling came streaking down
in Silver all around Me
on My Head and in My Naked Lap —
“Oh My God, Oh My God! OH MY GOD!”
so dazzled stunned I could not eat
The Main Course
I got up to get My Robe
I tried to leave
–
My Host was determined
to have Me
so We walked Arm-in-Arm
to a little cafe down by The Hudson
where We sat in Semi-Darkness
This Time I found My Mind
in the quiet I ordered My Dessert
I picked It because of Its name
THE MEANING OF LIFE
was chocolate in every form
even the whipped cream was chocolate
deep in Its centre was a hollow filled
with a kind of gelatin I had never tasted
could never describe
but It was the most delicate flavour
ever to grace My Tongue
–
I decided to stay There Forever
but The Host wanted Me to Dance
The Host wanted Me to Revel in All That Had Been Known
All That Could Be
to See All Things New and so I did
I did for weeks its seemed until
The Night-time Drive
along an empty Thruway
to arrive at The House
of The Untiring Host
on No Sleep
–
at The Great Black Cloister
inside a Cultivated Retreat
The Host announced “I have a Visitor
I would like You to meet” and again
I was shy
being in My Bathrobe but The Host assured Me
that would be fine
This Visitor Could Take Anything
“Is He In?” I asked exhausted
“He’ll be with You at 10:22”
I had no choice but to wait
sitting in an ungainly Waiting Room
–
What was Happening?
–
At The Appointed Time
The Host lead Me down a long corridor
to a Hidden Room
not really a room — An Examining Room
The Host had Me sit
in The Examining Room until
The Visitor arrived
not much taller than Me
The Visitor had quick eyes
a half smile which was good
enough for Me
He didn’t say Hello being The Visitor
but wasn’t I a Visitor too?
–
I Knew Then I Had Been Tricked
–
“I have something To Tell –” I blurted to My Visitor
“These things happen –” He hedged
again I had No Choice:
“I Have Something I Am COMPELLED To Say”
–
My Visitor stood with Folded Arms
–
I pleaded, “Would You Believe — Would You Accept What I Have To Say?”
His Arms Unfolded, “Yes Go Ahead Tell Me”
–
“There Is A God.”
–
And Our Host is Still Laughing His Goddamn Head Off
Mumbo, are You Out There
in Those Bushes?
are You alive or
are You dead?
Will The Gulls & Crows
leave You alone?
Mumbo, are You gone —
no more Mumbolette
with The Big Feet?
Hi My name
Mombo the cat. I am
a very nice cat. I
love kids.
bye-bye
delivered from a full upright position
this morning at The Blood Testing Clinic:
“Angels of Mercy
are Dressed In Black”
& My Voice Is My Weapon
What Is It
That Is The Spirit of A Cat
Who Takes So Long To Die?
Is She The Eternal Spirit
In All of Us
Striving To Be Born
Striving To Be Conceived
Striving Not To Leave This World
Yet Seeking The Wonderment
Of Endless Others?
I was Thanked Today
by God of All People
bobbing slightly on a Balloon String
above the Cashier @ Sobey’s
I believe The Thank You
was for My Successful Effort
to encrypt His Silver Star
or Mine
upon the face of a vacant rock
offering Space
to a smattering of Lichen
I Stared Death In The Face
& It Was A Black & White Face
–
We don’t know what anything is anymore,
except by what it is in relation
to something else
–
The Clock Has Stopped
@ Midnight
& The Chickadee’s Crown Is Black
H-e-a-r
I Am
dressed in a white sweat shirt
My Daughter’s pyjama bottoms
H-e-a-r
I Am
drinking a cup of tea — Earl Grey
sitting in My Grandmother’s Wrought Iron Arm Chair
H-e-a-r
I Am
next to The Sliding Glass Doors
It’s Grey Out
I Have To Check
On My Black & White Cat