Joanna Gilman Hyde

"Good Morning, World!"

Tag: sleep deprivation

HARD SELL

The Hawk Queen Bed 3:00pm

I’m still in bed, in My Pyjamas

& it’s three o’clock in the afternoon

This condition is ostensibly due to sleep deprivation

from last night when I stayed up too late

fooling around with My joannagilmanhyde web address —

It didn’t get corrected until this morning

with My Husband’s help before work

but I wasn’t able to catch up on the sleep

despite taking an Ativan —

as You may have gathered

My Beauty Sleep relies entirely on pills

& regular routine —

any break in the pattern

& I’m shot for the day

personal note:  My Daughter Eliza just phoned

that She’s got a summer job at Shelburne’s Osprey Arts Center

SLEEP

The Hawk Portico 4:50pm

I seem to be developing a pattern

of going back to sleep

after Hunter leaves for work

possibly to make up for the nocturnal interruptions

of letting Astro out

back in

of waking well before the alarm

waking & waiting

to rise & make the coffee

or take out the trash

as happened today

& today I did go back to sleep

dreamed

& so resurrected the remainder

of the day

even painted a small pine table Peter built

long ago & left unclaimed

to use now in the new library

for Hunter’s Stereo

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS INSANITY

The Hawk Kitchen 6:42pm

just suppression by anti-psychotic drugs

all things yelled should be heard

& if My Dreams are interfered with

My Sleeping Pattern could get in trouble

I’m free now, drinking beer

in My Kitchen

with a cat on the foot stool

My Husband napping before supper

My Prophecy unravelling

as I write

& the sky — I have to write

about The Sky:

It is ponderous

laden with cloud

in varying greys

It Is Beautiful

& I Love It

PUBLIC DISORDER

The Hawk Window Seat 10:00am

This morning I told The Carpenters

“I have a Sleep Disorder — that’s why

I’m always in My Bathrobe –”

It’s true, It’s not a lie

or an exaggeration

I have to get My Eight Hours

uninterrupted

or I’m

shot

RESTORATION

The Tomato-coloured Couch 3:41pm

I always said I never lived

with a broken heart,

but My Mother broke My Heart

when She died

twenty years ago,

but I lived

with My Broken Spirit

taken over by God —

God stepped in

— stepped on My Heart —

He made Me see a Shower of Lights

Which did not fill Me

with inner peace

I was restless

not sleeping

years on medication —

I’m still on it —

I cannot drink The Red Wine

of mirth

without sleep disturbance

I need My Sleep

My Peace Restored

YEAR 22

The Hawk Kitchen 2:22pm

I AM IN THE YEAR 22

since My Mother’s Illness

& Death

The Shower Of Lights

is ensconced within this frame

The Kitchen Glass Doors reveal My Environment

ensconced in snow

I AM SLEEPING NORMALLY NOW

!BOING!

The Hawk Bathroom 2:22pm

Joanna’s Sleep Regimen:

Lithium Carbonate 300 mg

take 2 capsules @ bedtime

Synthroid 50 mcg

take 1 tablet once a day

Nova-Olanzapine 10 mg

take 1 tablet @ bedtime

Apo-Lorazepam 1 mg

take 1 tablet as needed*

* I have begun taking

this anxiolytic (Ativan) regularly @ bedtime

& IT HAS ROUNDED OUT

MY SLEEP

I NO LONGER WAKE UP EARLY

WITH JOLTS OF ANXIETY

I ATTRIBUTE THE ABOVE PRESCRIPTIONS

TO MY SLEEP RESTORATION

AND THUS

TO MY OVERALL WELL-BEING

A BEDROOM 7:40pm

I want My Daddy

to come tuck Me in

— My Real Daddy who wasn’t Real

He’s Dead —

I want My WHB

to tuck Me in

with His Soft Words

& careful careful touch —

I’ve taken My Pills

2 Hours in advance

of Bedtime

 

THE HAWK PORTICO 6:36pm

I wrote A Book once

of 364 pages

describing The Illness & Death

of My Mother

& what happened to Me

after four days of no sleep —

sleep deprivation induced by Death:

The Shower of Lights

Seeing The Meaning of Life

Fixation Upon a Little Man

induced by The Telepathic Message:

“Joanna, the reason I am not answering Your Calls

is that I am at home, in the same condition

You are in — Yes We are reading Each Other’s Minds —

and no one knows what’s going on —

there is no expression for Love Divine

but this is as close as We can come…”

My last words to Him were:

“David, I am shredding My Manuscript —

all 5 copies, & The Shredder

is getting overheated —

It keeps quitting every 20 minutes

giving Me Pause For Thought”

Hint:

One Surviving Copy

may be somewhere

in The Vermont Farm House

of My Widowed Stepmother

Who assures Me

It’s Somewhere