Joanna Gilman Hyde

"Good Morning, World!"

Tag: sleep deprivation

THE APPARITION

The Hawk Queen Bed 4:38pm

Today on 2 hrs sleep

from 2 mgs Ativan

I began the sculpted head

of My Beautiful Dark Haired Woman

Who appeared on My Right Shoulder

in Roseway Hospital

October 1993

She said a lullaby in My Ear —

the most melodious voice I had ever heard

and today I have swaddled a Styrofoam core

in thin slices of plasticine

hyperventilating as I went

hearing My Son’s suggestion

from yesterday’s walk on The Hawk Beach —

“Mom, why don’t You just

exhaust Your Self?”

every slice

from a red-handled knife My Brother gave Me

pushed Me on to panel the form —

My Goal was to cover it, and I did

after carving HTWH in the Styrofoam skull

resting on My Ceramic Bluenose Plate

My Keepsake from the childhood crossings

in that vessel from Bar Harbor, Maine

to Yarmouth, Nova Scotia

when I was so happy

with My Little Family

of Mother, Brother and Me

ASIDE FROM MY PERFECT PREGNANCY IN 1994

The Hawk Deck 4:04pm

Since that first spring of 1993

with a ten-minute diagnosis of schizophrenia

crowning My Head after My Mother’s Death

and a summer’s hospitalisation for depression

when a psychiatric nurse tried to assure Me

“There will be other summers” —

how could She have known

there wouldn’t be a straight one

until now, twenty-three years later,

when My Second Husband

allows Me to throw

My Bed-thrashing Knees

across His Hip

in the dead of night

and reads My Extensive Medical Records

on His Lunch Break

to find out what happened?

CROSSINGS

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 6:14pm

I missed the cutest waddle

of a mother duck and Her Ducklings

crossing The Hawk Road

while I was zooming

sleep-deprived

to get to The Little Store —

I swerved to avoid the adorable clutch

and got mad at My Self

but not mad enough to slow down

in time to take in

the rare amusement

of Their very serious venture

THE LAVENDER ROOM

The West Desk Window 11:25am

Eliza’s lovely little room

was an assignment

for Me to sleep

and By God I slept —

I slept and woke —

woke and slept and dreamed

and tossed off My Love Ring Quilt

and watched The Sun emerge

from The Eastern Waters —

I listened to the early birds

the crows and gulls

and song birds

and yes, the funny funny Rooster

I watched The Sun hit

the wall by the door

and now I am out of there

I have returned to My Husband

and The Cats —

the old dilapidated comforter

the mismatched sheets

and the open window to The West

 

TRUTH

The Hawk Deck 8:02am

I slept last night

a proper eight hours

for the first time

since getting hit between the eyes

by The Divine Perfection

of My Double Rainbow

@ 6:00am on June 15th —

sublimity enabled Me to go

off that abject medication —

now My Existence

rings as True

as The Call of The Cow Bird

preening Himself

against My Car Mirror

as free as The Rooster’s Laugh

as assured as The Surge

of The Sea

IN MY BATHROBE TILL AFTER THREE

The Hawk Deck 7:19am

EYE have been held in a trance

by The Birds, The Rooster

Their Song on The Air

The Silver on The Sea

and My Successful Adjustment

to the sleepless effect

of going off My anti-psychotic medication

four days ago

EVENING SCORE

The Hawk West Desk Window 7:30pm

The murky sun of twilight

sets on My Sleep Deprivation —

I did row this morning,

My 10,000 Metres

but that was due to hype

more so than a proper night’s rest

& I hope as I have taken My Pills

two hours early

that I will resume

the normalcy

of sleep

NEWS FLASH

The Hawk Computer 6:04 pm

My Husband, Dr William Hunter Blair, now believes

that My World Trade Center Roof Top Painting from 1984

titled Self Organizing Galaxy

may have given someone the idea

for 9/11

http://carloschagall.com/2015/09/11/self-organizing-galaxy-by-joanna-hyde/comment-page-1/#comment-6419

NOTICE TO MY READERS 222

EYE have not been writing much —

EYE have been making recordings into M(EYE) cell phone

in-which M(EYE) Husband does not seem very interested.

@ 9:30pm

The Hawk Kitchen Outpost 9:30pm

I lay My Knitting aside

to go upstairs

to take My Pills

in order that I sleep

for The Rest

of My L(EYE)FE