The Hawk Queen Bed 9:44pm
I think I know what Psychosis is
— or at least I can try
to explain It, briefly —
as It happens to Me:
It, The Psychotic State Of Mind
AND
BODY*
is the intense focus on One’s
surroundings —
It is One’s Perception
and The Mind’s reaction to that
Perception
as I am caught now
hearing The Peepers
and a slow car coming out
of a gravelled driveway
across the road
*I believe Mind and Body are interchangeable
The Tomato-coloured Couch 6:41pm
I was once walled in
by plexi-glass & counter tops
filing cabinets & indoor-outdoor carpeting
My Performance of trying to live or die
was put on display
& written about in nurses’ journals
I was made to eat food
I could not taste
& made to shower
when all I wanted to do
was drown in the tub
Now I Am Here
on The Hawk where the only wall
makes up My Kitchen Glass Doors:
They Slide Open
I Can Walk Through
To The Outside
To The Bird Calls
Of Life
The Tomato-coloured Couch 5:30pm
I once looked in a mirror
in My Private Bath
behind My Room
at The Yarmouth Regional Psych Unit
to see a face
I did not recognize:
slouched, forlorn, perplexed
The Face I See Now
in the multiple mirrors
of Our Hawk House
is MY FACE
The Hawk Deck 4:43pm
I Have A Stigmata
applied twice daily
with a Q -Tip
to My Right Cheek
(facial, that is)
I’m killing a part of Me —
a part of unfavourable growth —
I march around proudly
with the evidence of Sun
The Hawk En Suite Bath 1:32pm
I sit in a swath of Sun
where once I sat
in a Moon Beam
& got up to write
It out
I have come
full circle
where Night is now
Day
& I am Seeing
The Breadth Of Light
*Jesus Jones 1991
The Hawk West Desk Window 10:14am
The Cape has turned moss green
overnight
I gaze out across
Its growth of dunes
serene against the overcast sky
inlet tide — the rich grey
of My Husband’s Hair
while He’s in The Tub
Barrington, NS 4:30pm
I Am That Child
climbing into Her Father’s Shopping Cart
talking in complete sentences
about The Monkeys at The Zoo
and The Snake in
The Snake House
–
I Am That Child
with blond hair pulled back
into a pony tail
asking Her Mother, repeatedly
“Who You wavin’ at, Mom?”
–
I Am That Dark Haired Child
alone beside a rock
with two sticks
as drum sticks
turning away from Old Men
to examine
Her Own Play
The Hawk Outpost 11:15am
The Hawk Outpost
offers a thin blue sky
to The North East
the promise of sun
while a solitary Grackle
pecks at the lawn
with His Brilliant Teal Head
— Oh — There’s Another One!
The Hawk Kitchen 5:15pm
I’ve set My Deluxe Spaghetti
with hamburger AND sausage
housed in crockery from My First Marriage
into My Gleaming Oven —
I spent two days cleaning off
baked-on two-year-old grease
including showering with the racks this morning —
now My Like-new Oven will provide a fortifying meal
to serve dinner guests
any day this week
Joanna Gilman Hyde 