The Hawk Queen Bed 9:22am
I PUSHED THE CERAMIC HEAD
I MADE
OF A DARK HAIRED LADY
HELD UP IN A DREAM
TO THE BACK SIDE OF A THIN OLD GYP-ROCK WALL
I PUSHED HER FRONTAL FEATURES FIRST
ALL THE WAY THROUGH
TO HER INTRICATE HAIR LINE
SO THAT THE PATTERN OF HER FACE
EMERGED FROM THE CRUMBLE
ON THE OTHER SIDE
WHERE MY DAUGHTER WAS STANDING
TO RECEIVE HER
INTACT
The Hawk Kitchen 9:14am
Can You be In Love with The Spirit
of a Child?
What stops You as He
approaches 25 years of age
& You finally decide
to throw out
His First Bathtub Toy
set on a block of concrete
for the garbage men to pick up?
The Tomato-coloured Couch 1:11pm
I live with A Demon
of My Own Creation
caged above Me
in My Living Room
He is black & dirty
with giant bird shit
dripping off the upper right corner
of His Chicken Wire Cage
first laid across Him
on the 4th Floor
of Cooper Union’s Foundation Building
where He came to Life
never to speak — only to glare
with His Brilliant Eyes
down upon His Audience —
Yet Today He Speaks!
Through Me as I speak out
for The Creature of My Fierce Fear —
My Fear of being locked in
or up
or out
as I have been locked inside
psychiatric wards
for years on end
I am OUT NOW
& I can speak My Mind
no matter how It comes out
I AM BLACK JESUS — but
not because I am dressed in black
I AM BLACK JESUS — because
I can speak
for My Desperate Crow — d
The West Desk Window 9:00pm
This Evening My Daughter drove off
with Her Boyfriend Tyler
against a backdrop of sunset
gold & amethyst
like My Mother’s antique ring
worn by Eliza for the first time
— She asked if She could wear It —
said She would keep It
in a blue velvet box at night
& that They’d be back from Halifax
on Sunday
In a Barrington Passage car park
I listen to 90’s on 9
“That’s Me in The Corner
That’s Me in The Spot Light
Losing My Religion”
— I listen to 90’s on 9
to reclaim the decade
stolen by My Mother’s Brain Tumour —
is this another Dead Mother poem
or My Reclamation
of What I’m OWED?
Making up for months & months
of psychiatric hospitalizations
of years of being so depressed
I couldn’t take care of My Children
of writing a 364 page Manuscript
— The Encapsulation —
only to gleefully shred It
— every copy I possessed —
on a sunny June afternoon
fifteen years later?
The Hawk Kitchen 10:22am
I see My Rings stacked
up on the tail
of a ceramic cat
poised at My Kitchen Sink:
My Big ? Ring
& My Wedding Rings
Hunter bought Me years ago
eyed by My Daughter
from Time To Time
— I know She would love an engagement ring
from Her Very Serious Boyfriend
& if She got one
would that assure Me
She would not be as promiscuous
as I was?
Would She be as happy
as She could be
& for how long?
–
With The World Waiting For Her
at such a young age
could She be
a Cape Island House Wife?
Though isn’t that what I am —
secure in My Maturity
happy in My Place?
“I’m going into Barrington with Tyler”
“What for?”
“To watch The Fireworks at The Tree Lighting
— look what I’m wearing –“
“Let Me get My Glasses”
“My Burberry Scarf — don’t I look cute?
I look like a rich girlfriend
Who gets lots of nice
things”
The West Desk Window 9:45am
I am experiencing Separation Anxiety
from The Selling
of My Mother’s Island House
She’s possessed for 50 Years —
in the cloak of The Shower
I cling all the harder
to The Little Man
while My Doctor/Husband
prescribes Ativan
The West Desk Window 8:45am
I have put My Daughter’s Name
above Her
on the wall @ The Head of Her Bed
The Name is Mine
in photographs of My Rooftop Painting
within Her Reach
Joanna Gilman Hyde 