The Hawk Deck
11:00 am
Eye am dressed in solid grey
& un-ironed white linen
sitting on The Deck, quiet
My Daughter, visiting from College
has just fed Gully
some old rice cakes
& The Crows are subdued
in the trifling fog
The Hawk Family Room 9:11am
I am seeing ahead of My Self
to The Time Of Linkage
between The Black Crow
hanging in My Living Room
floating on My TV Screen
veiled over by The Shroud
of My World Trade Center Roof Top Painting
titled Self Organizing Galaxy
“Good Morning, World!”
and to the rest of you
that are still asleep –
This Is Your Mother
Speaking:
It’s Time To Go To School
and I mean
REAL SCHOOL –
It’s Time To Go
BACK to Your
Kitchens, Women, &
cook for Your
decreasing Families,
It’s Time, Children, To Get On
The Bus of Human Intelligence
for Our Fight:
The Fight of Our Lives
as Human Beings on
This Planet –
for That is
All We Are — We
are Human &
We are God –
& We Cannot Continue
as We have been
for however many
thousands or millions of
years.
This is Your MOTHER
SPEAKING — CRYING
For You, My Children,
to Stop Killing
Yourselves
through Your Own
desperation, &
stupidity –
I Love You All
Dearly
& without You I
would
Die!”
“WAKE UP WORLD &
smell The Coffee –
drink that Tim Horton’s
& Think of Me.
Watch This Television
until You are Blue
in The Face,
which is MY
FACE –
You have desecrated
Me with
Your naivety, Your
revulsion & Mine,
for You & Me &
Now –
I can no longer look
My Self in The Face
& Smile
Because of YOU
(red star, red star)
October 1st, 2010 THE HAWK
continued from Diary:
I AM THE RED STAR –
I AM THE ALERT BUTTON
on Your Car
remote
Listen to Me — You are
All I Have Left
here,
& here is the Only Place
We know of
which sustains us, somewhat,
& which sustains Me,
Your Guiding Star
Your Furious Mother –
and Who was My Furious
Mother, You may ask?
She is Dead Now & Somewhere
out There, Haunting Me
as I am aiming now to
Haunt You,
& Haunt You I Will,
Until You Turn Around,
with The Earth,
with The Light of Our
Yellow Star –
Soon To Turn Red.
I am speaking to You from
This Black Box, This Hole
But I Can See You,
like The Romper Room Lady –
I am Magic, if You
believe in Magic
– and I feel You must
believe in Something –
There is The Divine, for
I have felt Its Wrath –
There is God, for I have
been beaten down by Him,
now, into this heaving mass
of Human Organism
which rises up before You,
to Speak to You
from The Device I Loathe:
The Device of Corruption, Greed,
Sloth, & Desire.
Yes, I Desire You,
I Desire That You Wake Up
to Hear Me, That You
Wake Up to Feel Me, For
What Am I To You But
All That Is Left of
possible salvation?
I am Your Mother & My
Mother before Me, & Her Mother,
& My Father’s Mother & Her
Mother — I AM ALL MOTHERS
I Speak For The Salvation
of The Children of God
WHO MUST NOW, FINALLY,
GROW UP
*
The Hawk West Desk Window 2:22pm
My Children are inching Their Way
farther & farther away from Me —
Peak is bound for British Columbia
Eliza has begun Her First Year Of College
but rather than succumb to The Empty Nest
I must grow with Them & be The Best
Care-taker of My Self —
be My Own Mother
The Hawk Deck 1:00pm
Today A Horsefly
sat upon My Deck Rail
Big & Ugly
named A Creature of Satan
by My Mother —
I did not swat It
I did not kill It
I have never before
spared The Life
of One of Those
The Hawk West Desk Window 9:45am
Back in My Bed
on the pretence of not enough sleep
I lie in repose
and wonder the look
on The Face
of The Nameless, Faceless Doctor
Who scraped out My Dear .4
and what of it
in My Reclining Pose
had I demanded My Pieces
be saved —
saved in a jar of formaldehyde?
Yarmouth NS, afternoon
Today I gave three dollars
to The Art Gallery of Nova Scotia’s
donation (admission) box
Today I gave three dollars
to a hungry (He said) bum
who remembered My Brother Howard
but didn’t know
He had died, or how
Today I gave My Daughter
fifty dollars
for a pedicure
The Hawk Library 5:25pm
I sit across from The Golden Gleam
of My Husband’s Collection of Folio Books
it is here I can prepare My Dream
of Intelligence vs Intellect
recollect My Childhood Scheme
gathering boxes of My Mother’s Junk Mail
calling Them My “Indeportanz”
The Hawk Deck 10:35am
I bit into My Morning Apple
and bit into The Fall
Eliza’s off to school next week
and I will be alone with Hunter
The Cats
and breezy lines of wash
The Hawk Living Room 1:40pm
I made My Way through
New York City
going to bed with men
just because they took Me
out to dinner
–
I married for Nova Scotia
& for My Mother
then I lost Her
somewhere on The High Seas
& gained an insight
into something no one else could
sea
except — there always has to be
An Except —
One Little Man
Who unwittingly took My Heart
while My Second Husband
has My Twat
Joanna Gilman Hyde 