The Hawk Queen Bed 9:11pm
“It’s a shame She has no insight,”
said a psychiatric nurse to My Husband
one of those 23 years
when I was drugged
for the duration
of The Prime of My Life —
well today I have more “insight”
than all the staff and doctors
put together
and I got to have a manicure
in the company of My Daughter
attended by an eager Asian
named Cong Lee
Who asked Me
where We’d been shopping
The Hawk Corner Room 4:33pm
My Daughter, You Are Spectacular
the way I dreamt You up
to be capable of anything
with the nerve & the looks
to go with Your Infinite Abilities
You Can Do Anything
as I imagined when I saw You
in April of 1993
when I wanted A Baby Girl
A Beautiful Daughter —
not even as a compliment to My Son —
A Daughter to stand on Her Own
ready to Wow The World
now at eighteen
with Your tears of disproportion
about Your Idealized Body
Your Perfectly White Smile
and All Your Talents —
shall I list A Few?
After All, I Am Your Mother
& I Will Tell The World:
She Can Sing, Write, Act
Ride A Horse, Sail (Racing)
Bake, Cook, Organize
Play The Piano, Guitar, Saxophone —
She Can Make Money
& Raise It —
She Can Travel Solo
& Paint —
I Am Her Mother
I Made Her
And I Will Not Apologise
for Any of Eliza
The Hawk Kitchen 3:15pm
Today I Made Cookies
— it doesn’t matter what kind —
— it doesn’t matter I had to pound
the brown sugar into submission —
— it doesn’t matter They came out with arms & legs —
I Made Cookies
For The First Time
Since Making Hermit Cookies With My Mother
On McNutt Island
over 25 years ago
The Hawk Kitchen 6:35pm
Mother, It’s You
My Kitchen Witch
hanging above The Kitchen Phone
for the first time
since moving to The Hawk
It’s Your Caricature
drawn by Hardy Bulbs ’66
“The Perennial Phlox At Home”
I would have been Five
when Your Surrounding Book Titles
were dreamt up:
Flames of Passion
My Life & Loves — Frank Harris
Forever Amber
Passion & Greed (A Cookbook) Farmer
Lady Loverly’s Chatter
Slang Dictionary
The Passionate Lips
Hungry Hill
Fanny Hill
Candy (& How To Make It)
Naked Lunch (Cookbook)
The Lustful Heart
Passion’s Slave
Lustful Lips
The floral stockings You were wearing
I remember
You were My Great Mother
& I Am Proud
To Be Your Daughter
The Hawk Kitchen 2:22pm
Daughter, It’s Time
to hang Your Red Roses
upside down to dry
It’s Time to Preserve
Their Message
of Love & Devotion & Faith
from The Young Man
Who has You
for Now
The Hawk Corner Room 12:15pm
I Stand At Attention
with The Ocean View before Me
with The Picture of My Mother’s Face
wearing only Her Orange Lipstick —
Her Heavy-lidded Eyes
Green and Happy —
I Am Here because of Her
and My Arrival has taken
Eons
The Tomato-coloured Couch 8:10pm
My Mother sat in Her brown & gold
champagne bubble evening dress
empire-waisted
listening to Her clarinet-playing married Lover
in The World’s Greatest Jazz Band —
I stayed baby-sat
until
Her Bubble Burst
upon My nine-year-old shoulders
The Christmas I begged
for a pair of green & red
Love Birds
The Tomato-coloured Couch 7:22pm
When I was five years old
My Mother took Me into New York City
to see The Musical Annie Get Your Gun
The Only Part I remember
was The Ballroom Scene
with actors holding plates of food
& I asked My Mother
“Is That Real Food?”
The Hawk Kitchen 10:22am
I see My Rings stacked
up on the tail
of a ceramic cat
poised at My Kitchen Sink:
My Big ? Ring
& My Wedding Rings
Hunter bought Me years ago
eyed by My Daughter
from Time To Time
— I know She would love an engagement ring
from Her Very Serious Boyfriend
& if She got one
would that assure Me
She would not be as promiscuous
as I was?
Would She be as happy
as She could be
& for how long?
–
With The World Waiting For Her
at such a young age
could She be
a Cape Island House Wife?
Though isn’t that what I am —
secure in My Maturity
happy in My Place?
Joanna Gilman Hyde 