The Hawk Kitchen 8:13pm
I have A Magic Pendant
It is Black & White
I wear It always around My Neck
to let It clarify My Sight
My Brother had One
made of Silver
It was Our Mother’s
Oh How He Loved Her!
He dangled Its chain
& let It swing
to answer Yes one way
or No the other
He saw His Way
out of any dilemma
& told His Fortune
to His Gods
He struck a deal
with His Death
that He would be remembered
as a Man of Steel
safely stowed
in The Land of Nod
The Hawk Queen Bed 10:45pm
I see forever
the image of My Mother’s Morning
of Her standing
on the furnace grate
beside the windows in the kitchen
of The Valley Cottage House
She made oatmeal for Howard
& Me
& ate Her’s
with a wooden spoon
out of the stuck oatmeal pot
with forced air from the furnace
billowing up Her Nightgown
The Tomato-coloured Couch 1:22pm
I want to put Roses
on My Brother’s Grave
on His Stone
inscribed with The First Bar
of Fur Elise
He taught His Niece Eliza
but I am certain
His Roses
lying there
would blow
away
–
*Howard Talbot Walden Hyde
October 6, 1962 — November 22, 2007
There is no such “thing” as “mental illness.” There is no true illness which can be said to be entirely “mental” unless it is derived from an organic source such as a brain tumour. There are no physical attributes in the human body which can point to this description. There is no pre-determining test for “mental illness.” The psychiatric diagnosis used to determine the supposed state of “mental illness” is opinion-based at best, and most often this opinion is not shared by the individual in question. At worst this opinion is often shared by family members, friends, and society as a whole, creating a kind of trap or “Catch 22” for the individual.
–
What we see when we attempt to use this stigmatizing and false description of “mental illness” is an array of human self expression which may be affected by, or resulting from, changes in environment, sleep patterns, physical activity, thought, perception, interaction with others, or any conglomeration of naturally occurring factors which can and do affect all of us as human beings.
–
We are variable and complex. To lump any of us into “categories” of “mental illness” is a grave disservice to humanity.
Written by Joanna Gilman Hyde Blair
The Hawk Deck 8:20am
At Night I go to sleep
with the sweep of Cape Light
turned to My Bed
in the morning I wake
to step out on My Deck
immersed in the dew
with the waves
at My Head
The Hawk Portico 6:00pm
I have shed The Cloak
of Both My Parents
and That Which I shared with My Brother
Who would have been 51 today*
–
I am The Sole Survivor
of That Family
The Family I was born headlong into —
My “Old” Family —
as I have wrapped My Self anew
within Hunter, My Grown Children
and 7 Cats
*My brother Howard Talbot Walden Hyde was killed November 22, 2007, while in custody. His death prompted the three-year Hyde Inquiry which found his death to be accidental due to restraint by jail guards — namely one Henwood.
Yarmouth NS, afternoon
Today I gave three dollars
to The Art Gallery of Nova Scotia’s
donation (admission) box
Today I gave three dollars
to a hungry (He said) bum
who remembered My Brother Howard
but didn’t know
He had died, or how
Today I gave My Daughter
fifty dollars
for a pedicure
The Hawk Deck 10:12am
How can One Sound
conjure up A Place
and A Time?
— It’s The Call Of The Jay
that does It for Me
That Authoritative Squawk
harkens back to My Childhood
growing up in The Woods
of Rockland County
where I was a bossy child neighbour
and control freak
to My Brother
The Hawk Living Room 8:30pm
After supper in Valley Cottage
My Brother & I turned on
the overhead light
Our Mother never used
& turned & twirled
until We were dizzy
We lay down on the thin carpet
happily feeling Our Living Room
spin
The Tomato-coloured Couch 7:33pm
I was eating My Canned Soup tonight
when I realized
I can’t just pick up the phone
& call My Brother Howard —
He’s Not There — Or Here
He was killed, accidentally
on a jail-house floor
five-and-a-half years ago
prompting The 3-year Hyde Inquiry
resulting in Our Two Copies
of The 460-page Judge’s Decision titled:
Report of The Fatality Inquiry
Into The Death Of Howard Hyde
shelved in Hunter’s New Library
Joanna Gilman Hyde 