In The Sun Today
I Walked The Pattern Of The Waves
& Looked Across The Sand
To Sea The Breakers
But To Hear Their Over-turnings Muffled
Out Of Reach Of The Wind
Rippling The Clouds Outside
My Kitchen Window
When I Got Home
The Hawk Bathroom 2:22pm
Joanna’s Sleep Regimen:
Lithium Carbonate 300 mg
take 2 capsules @ bedtime
Synthroid 50 mcg
take 1 tablet once a day
Nova-Olanzapine 10 mg
take 1 tablet @ bedtime
Apo-Lorazepam 1 mg
take 1 tablet as needed*
* I have begun taking
this anxiolytic (Ativan) regularly @ bedtime
& IT HAS ROUNDED OUT
MY SLEEP
I NO LONGER WAKE UP EARLY
WITH JOLTS OF ANXIETY
I ATTRIBUTE THE ABOVE PRESCRIPTIONS
TO MY SLEEP RESTORATION
AND THUS
TO MY OVERALL WELL-BEING
The Tomato-coloured Couch 1:11pm
I live with A Demon
of My Own Creation
caged above Me
in My Living Room
He is black & dirty
with giant bird shit
dripping off the upper right corner
of His Chicken Wire Cage
first laid across Him
on the 4th Floor
of Cooper Union’s Foundation Building
where He came to Life
never to speak — only to glare
with His Brilliant Eyes
down upon His Audience —
Yet Today He Speaks!
Through Me as I speak out
for The Creature of My Fierce Fear —
My Fear of being locked in
or up
or out
as I have been locked inside
psychiatric wards
for years on end
I am OUT NOW
& I can speak My Mind
no matter how It comes out
I AM BLACK JESUS — but
not because I am dressed in black
I AM BLACK JESUS — because
I can speak
for My Desperate Crow — d
Last Night I slept on The Hide-A-Bed
in Eliza’s Corner Room
My Husband was coughing badly
so I got up & out @ 11:00
to open The Hide-A-Bed
& make it up with cheap Egyptian sheets
& a satin cover I made in My First Marriage
never used
I pulled up the shade Eliza always has down
& lay on My Hide-A-Bed
looking up to The Sky
awash in star glitter
The Hawk Kitchen 10:22am
I see My Rings stacked
up on the tail
of a ceramic cat
poised at My Kitchen Sink:
My Big ? Ring
& My Wedding Rings
Hunter bought Me years ago
eyed by My Daughter
from Time To Time
— I know She would love an engagement ring
from Her Very Serious Boyfriend
& if She got one
would that assure Me
She would not be as promiscuous
as I was?
Would She be as happy
as She could be
& for how long?
–
With The World Waiting For Her
at such a young age
could She be
a Cape Island House Wife?
Though isn’t that what I am —
secure in My Maturity
happy in My Place?
Joanna Gilman Hyde 