February 22, 2013
Dear Mom:
The Time Has Come For Me
to write You a Proper Letter
as an astute friend
pointed out tonight
I never had —
nor allowed My Self —
any Time alone with You
after You died.
–
I left Your Hospital Room Immediately.
I made The Arrangements for Your Cremation
on no sleep
and when You came to visit
in the Form of A Chickadee
eyeing Your Coffin Boards
still I did not linger with You.
You landed on My Finger
and I did not speak.
I was in A Trance
broken only by The Greatest Event
ever to befall Me:
The Shower of Silver Lights
crashing down on My Head
four days after You Died.
–
I thought I was The Second Coming of Christ
and saw The Meaning of Life
that night in My Hospital Room.
The Next Day, April Fool’s Day
a chipmunk/leprechaun of a doctor
told Me I might be A Seer —
well, that was IT —
I followed That Little Man
for The Next Two Decades
and thought of Him
as My Divine Partner
until yesterday
when I flung out into The Ocean
a sculpture of Him
made out of aluminium foil
off a pizza slice.
I also threw out
The Little Balsa Wood Box
You gave Me
because I had written His initials and Mine
inside.
This was not done without days of trepidation
but I did It
and I wish You could have done something similar
to get rid of Your Little Man —
a pain You bore since I was nine.
–
So Now I Am Alone With You
and I Love You.
You were My Greatest Love–
and without You I had to foster
a replacement —
and not just a new Husband —
an entire fantastical existence
which is now
finally
concluded —
thanks to You
and to My Awareness
of How Much You Meant To Me.
–
All My Love,
Joge
Joanna Gilman Hyde 