The Hawk Deck 9:42am
I HAVE A CRY
discouraging Me from My Walk
along the Barrington Bay Trail
preventing Me from shopping
at Sobey’s
–
I HAVE A CRY
like The Crow’s Cry
efficient, timely
but MY CRY IS CAWT
The Hawk West Desk Window 12:22pm
So This Is Nova Scotia
I’ve woken up in The Land of Dreams
to find I no longer belong
I have arrived at My Life’s Destination
& The Jays are telling Me
“Go Back, Go Back”
“What do You want to be
when You grow up?”
“I want to be a ballet dancer
but I’ll probably be an artist”
I hold on tight to My Black Cat Astro
replacement for a beloved Tom
Who was the first creature
I ever grieved over
before My Mother Died
& I fell in love
with The Scripted Little Man
Who’s stayed with Me
in My Mind & Heart
for nearly 20 years
I must go back
to the capable kid I was
with paper route
and baby-sitting jobs
who knew She would be An Artist
Who was An Artist
painting giant canvases
& wowing art teachers
at Cooper Union
— if She could make it there
She could make it anywhere —
but She can’t go back
only forward
without the encumbrances
of Her Mother’s Estate
& The Doctor She Lives With
in a marriage based on His Reality
The Hawk Tomato-coloured Couch 6:24pm
I have A Doctor for A Husband
His Name is Dr Blair
He’s away from Me when He’s with His Patients
I was once a patient there
–
He has Silver Hair
& bionic teeth
He supports Me in all I do
when We’re together
all is fine
I know He’ll see Me through
–
In His Office
when He’s away
I’m reluctant to call Him there
when He’s at home
He’s a different man
He is in My Care
The Hawk Living Room 5:23pm
I am situated in A House
by The Open Ocean
A House with sky lights
shooting beams across My Crow Painting
in a cathedral ceilinged Living Room
— the room I lived in before This One
was cathedral ceilinged too
& accommodated
The Shower of Silver Lights
— but I wasn’t going to get into that —
I was going to write
about My Open Window
next to My Tomato-coloured Couch
where I lie here
to take naps
& not to be preoccupied
by saintly hallucinations
Am I going to have to leave
The Island House
for one more winter?
There are still no buyers
spiders have taken over
Who will ever live out there?
–
WHB just said, “You’re not in any place
where the bad things happened.”
–
Will We keep The Island
in case the power goes out
here on The Hawk?
Will We load up Our Cans
& Sleeping Bags
& boat for The Solace
of That Place so loved
by My Mother
& Me?
Joanna Gilman Hyde 