The Hawk Queen Bed 9:31am
I have woken up to My House in a mess
Eggplant Parmesan has gone uneaten
kitty litter litters Our Bathroom
& has scattered down The Stairs
— it’s The Weekend —
there’ll be no carpenters to work
on Hunter’s Library
but He’s making coffee for Me
I have a window open
& can hear a first bird
of Spring
–
10:30am
The Golden Arches Lay
flattened by last week’s wind
crumpled slightly on the lot
of McDonald’s in Barrington
turned upside down
at closer range
I see Their configuration
as the cartoon drawing
of dangling tits
–
10:42am
My Black Journal lays
on My Lap against My Bare Legs
I’m still in My Black Nightgown
with Black Underwear
My Titties are contained
in a Black Sports Bra
I have drunk My Coffee
& Hunter is Up
eating His Sticky Buns
The Hawk Corner Room 2:22pm
I was A Child of Letters
Valentines to Grand Parents
folded-over butterfly stationary to A Canadian Boyfriend
round pink stationary to My Mother from My Father’s Farm
I wrote to The Rockland County Journal News
when I was eight going on nine
thanking The Valley Cottage Fire Department
for saving Our Woods from a children’s brushfire
a page of loose-leaf in The 5th Grade to My Father
telling Dad to pay Mom a hundred dollars
a page of loose-leaf in The 6th Grade to A Boy
Who ripped it in half
& into My Teens
to Cousins, Friends
Boys I went to bed with
or wanted to
I wrote letters
to Men in executive offices
in My Early Twenties
I wrote & I wrote
all My Life So Far
like magic I am A Woman of Letters
They have preceded Me
Up Here in My Beautiful Corner Room
looking out over The Atlantic Ocean
with My Husband home from work
& a claw-less Siamese
pawing at The Door
The Hawk West Desk Window Noon
Dust Balls — mostly fine cat hair —
gather up in My House
like Galactic Formations
always in the same places
though I just found
a New One
looking like a Chickadees’s Nest
below My Husband’s bedside table
where I stood
to fold His Laundry
The Tomato-coloured Couch 7:10pm
What happened to The Effervescent Girl
of Yesterday
Who willingly drove into Shelburne
for lunch & coffee
with Her Daughter
dressed — The Effervescent Girl —
care-free in Her LL Bean Jeans & Blouse
delivering Her Daughter’s grad photo
to be framed
What happened to make today come
where She finds Her Self
tired & sullen
dressed again in black
to drive to Yarmouth
for Her Husband’s CT Scan
to come home to a trapped cat
Who’s made an unwashable mess
on Eliza’s comforter?
The Hawk Corner Room 4:52pm
My Parents have put Me here
really sittin’ pretty
in My Grey Bath Robe
— never dressed today —
— only showered —
padding around in white socks
to settle before My Immaculate View
of Ocean & Sky & occasional long white wave
–
Yes, if it weren’t for My Parents
would I be Here at all?
Tomorrow will be the first anniversary
of My Father’s Quiet Death
March 31st will be the twentieth
of My Mother’s skull-shattering
Expiration
–
and I am left
in the care of My Doctor/Husband
A Man My Mother never met
A Man My Father said would grow too old
–
Yes, I’m sittin’ pretty
in a Present to die for
My Future to live
The Hawk Kitchen 12:50pm
I was That Nice Young Woman
balancing babies on My Left Hip
splitting firewood for The Atlantic Stove
hair shoulder length
smiling for photographs
coping with My Mother’s Illness
but not Her Death
Illuminated by The Shower of Lights
I descended into Depression
spanning eight years
pulled out by The Arms
of My Doctor
Who became My Second Husband
–
In This 22nd Year My Hair is short
children grown
I wear black
and block My Heart
in A Vault of Silver
Joanna Gilman Hyde 