I remember lying in That February Sun
or was it March or April?
inadequate
with a step-sister who couldn’t help Me
no one could
I had abandoned My Self
to My Suffering
alleviated only by
bed-lying
couch-lying
& towel-lying on driveway stones
in the tepid sun
of 1997
I just woke from a dream
of being hurled to a prison floor
with My X Husband’s German Shepherd
lying on Me, peeing on Me
so I couldn’t get up
I couldn’t call to that dog I once cared about
Someone got Me out
assigned Me to a Shower
when I stood before Her
I announced, “This is because of dog urine”
She said, “You danced all night once in My House”
The Shower was open to a room
filled with teenagers giggling and watching
as I stood naked
under a series of levers,
some of them broken,
I chose “Stream”
and was assailed, blasted
and again could not breathe
Someone chose “Rain”
and that was better, lighter
but then Someone made “Iridescent Bubbles”
pop out of a circulating shower bar
overhead
and I was happy
How grateful I am
for the rustling hedge
for The Second Labatt’s Blue
there in The Fridge
H–‘s upstairs finishing
a nap
Eliza’s been horsed
all that’s left
is supper
on tap
I wonder if I am going
to fall into a routine —
sleeping with My Pills
showering in The Morning
walking to The Infirmary
visiting Dr Blair —
walking back to The Hotel
awaiting My Message
There
God Made That Peach
or Did That Peach
have The Know-how
To Make Itself?
–
Why Is There Something Rather Than Nothing?
If There Were Nothing
No One Would Know
& There Would Be No Question
–
Rudder’s, Yarmouth, NS
We are teetering on The Brink
of abandoning God
which We Must Not Do
for then We would Be
Abandoning Ourselves
–
THE HAWK DECK 8:25pm
Tonight I See
Oh — where did It go?
I See, I Write
an ink blot
White Ink
against a grey page
of Sky
–
8:39pm
Why on Earth is That Sun taking so Long?
It’s preparing to make a Rainbow
— a full arc with rainbow ripples
on The Inner Edge
*
I see a Cloudscape
beyond layers
of bamboo shrub
& scrub spruce
mountainous over The Blue Horizon
exalting
in My Nimbus
of Regeneration
There’s powder on My Face
My White Sweat Shirt
over My New Black
Push Up Bra
I put on Black Socks
old jeans that still fit
–
I’m off to shop for The Makings
of Stew
with My Cans still rattling
around
in My Black Escape
–
The Noon Radio News reports
“rising tide levels along coastal regions
& severe weather events
in the coming years.”
