The Hawk West Desk Window 9:42
The Moon lived with Me
for a short while
from The Time Of My Conception
to The Time Of My Death
It stood behind Me
as A Halo Of Silver
and I lived with My Shadow
where ever I went
The Tomato-coloured Couch 7:42pm
20 years ago during My First Depression
I departed from The Pink Bedspread
of The Yarmouth Psychiatric Unit
to take some advantage
of an offered outing
in a hospital bus
to venture across
a high-grass board-walk
to nowhere
only to return to My Bedspread
which may well have been
Chrysanthemum Gold
The Hawk West Desk Window 9:11pm
The Voice, My Voice
which emanates from
My Sordid Black Box
is The Strident Voice Of Command
laying out facts
straight on a platter
not as an offering
but with the insistence
that You take
what I dish out
not as punishment
but to quell the notion
of an ideal world
for Our World is The Real World
dark & defiant
crawling with Human Beings
The Hawk West Desk Window 8:22pm
What if I could wipe out
all religions
in one fell swoop
but leave God intact?
What is My Vision of God —
a little leprechaun
or a giant pink cloud
or, cutting through that hokiness —
is My Vision
of The Guttural Voice
— not a vision at all —
but My Voice when I speak
standing within the confines
of My Black Box?
The Hawk West Desk Window 9:11am
My God is not The God
of honey & sunshine
butterflies & beetles —
My God is The God
of 9/11
Hard-hitting & Hard-core
The God of The Dark
through Which railing against
We find Our Heart-felt
Heart-beating Meaning
of Life
The Hawk Family Room 9:11am
I am seeing ahead of My Self
to The Time Of Linkage
between The Black Crow
hanging in My Living Room
floating on My TV Screen
veiled over by The Shroud
of My World Trade Center Roof Top Painting
titled Self Organizing Galaxy
The Hawk West Desk Window 9:26pm
Something weird just happened to Me
when I was handing My Husband
2 Tylenol for His Sore Back
— and then handing Him
The Glass Of Water
to drink Them down —
I had a flash
of reliving the constant nights
of being fed medication
in The Yarmouth Psychiatric Unit
where The Nurse handed Me first
a little plastic cup of pills
which I threw into My Mouth —
I stood holding The Empty Cup
The Nurse filled It with an inch of water
from an ice cold stainless steel pitcher
for Me to swallow down
The Tomato-coloured Couch 4:48pm
I Have Arrived
Where I Am
I Know Not How
I Know Not Why
Yet I Believe I Will Know
Before I Die
“Good Morning, World!”
and to the rest of you
that are still asleep –
This Is Your Mother
Speaking:
It’s Time To Go To School
and I mean
REAL SCHOOL –
It’s Time To Go
BACK to Your
Kitchens, Women, &
cook for Your
decreasing Families,
It’s Time, Children, To Get On
The Bus of Human Intelligence
for Our Fight:
The Fight of Our Lives
as Human Beings on
This Planet –
for That is
All We Are — We
are Human &
We are God –
& We Cannot Continue
as We have been
for however many
thousands or millions of
years.
This is Your MOTHER
SPEAKING — CRYING
For You, My Children,
to Stop Killing
Yourselves
through Your Own
desperation, &
stupidity –
I Love You All
Dearly
& without You I
would
Die!”
“WAKE UP WORLD &
smell The Coffee –
drink that Tim Horton’s
& Think of Me.
Watch This Television
until You are Blue
in The Face,
which is MY
FACE –
You have desecrated
Me with
Your naivety, Your
revulsion & Mine,
for You & Me &
Now –
I can no longer look
My Self in The Face
& Smile
Because of YOU
(red star, red star)
October 1st, 2010 THE HAWK
continued from Diary:
I AM THE RED STAR –
I AM THE ALERT BUTTON
on Your Car
remote
Listen to Me — You are
All I Have Left
here,
& here is the Only Place
We know of
which sustains us, somewhat,
& which sustains Me,
Your Guiding Star
Your Furious Mother –
and Who was My Furious
Mother, You may ask?
She is Dead Now & Somewhere
out There, Haunting Me
as I am aiming now to
Haunt You,
& Haunt You I Will,
Until You Turn Around,
with The Earth,
with The Light of Our
Yellow Star –
Soon To Turn Red.
I am speaking to You from
This Black Box, This Hole
But I Can See You,
like The Romper Room Lady –
I am Magic, if You
believe in Magic
– and I feel You must
believe in Something –
There is The Divine, for
I have felt Its Wrath –
There is God, for I have
been beaten down by Him,
now, into this heaving mass
of Human Organism
which rises up before You,
to Speak to You
from The Device I Loathe:
The Device of Corruption, Greed,
Sloth, & Desire.
Yes, I Desire You,
I Desire That You Wake Up
to Hear Me, That You
Wake Up to Feel Me, For
What Am I To You But
All That Is Left of
possible salvation?
I am Your Mother & My
Mother before Me, & Her Mother,
& My Father’s Mother & Her
Mother — I AM ALL MOTHERS
I Speak For The Salvation
of The Children of God
WHO MUST NOW, FINALLY,
GROW UP
*
Joanna Gilman Hyde 