My Son & I
walked on The Hawk Beach
& talked of how humidity
can extend waves of sound
& how The Guzzle
could possibly have moved
from Its former sandy river bed
to parallel The Dunes
& how breeds of dogs
get bred for certain aspects
like liking water
or how foxes were bred
to be domesticated
& how Peak might get a dog
when He goes travelling
& have His Father or Me
look after It when He goes really far away —
My Son & I
Dear Diary —
I watched Eliza
dab at Her Hair in The Dining Room Mirror
& realized “My Daughter Has The Power To Kill”
while I became immortalized
at the age of eighteen
by telling My Only Real Boyfriend:
“You’re Just Another Face, Another Dick”
The Fog has sunk
into My Left Shoulder
–I can’t do The Laundry–
–I shouldn’t even be writing–
Peak & Eliza have gone to Lunenburg
with Their Father & His Family
My Day Is Grey
but I’m OK–
isn’t that awful?
When I was 17
I deliberately lost My Virginity
to a French Brooklyn Jew Drug Dealer
–He was 27–
So tonight I’m making home made Pizza
for Eliza & Her First Serious Boyfriend
Who’s just been met
in Port Clyde
by Father, Aunt & Uncle
& Grandparents
& after the Pizza
They’re driving to Yarmouth
to watch “Campaign”
while I run the Dishwasher
I HAVE POLISHED MY SILVER TORCH
Join Me In My Fundamental Guidance
–Yes, There Is God
No, We Are Not Dying–
We are Self Organizing
re-distributing Our Wealth
in All Forms:
Our Wealth of Individuality
Our Wealth of Spirituality
Our Wealth of Divine Intelligence
& Our Every-day Intelligence
We are going somewhere
& that Place is
The Here & Now
–
Join Me In My Fundamental Guidance
–You need not be “saved”
You, We, Need To Be Applauded–
Applaud Us, Ourselves
We Are The Ones Who Are Praise-worthy
God is Our Audience
Yet God is Our Substance
Our Flesh & Blood
Our Brains
Our Mind
The Silver Torch Is Lit
for Us
The Inseparable
“Here’s The Little Man, way up here deep in the forest.
He’s feeling his way out. He’s looking around.”
“Make him come out.”
“Now The Little Man’s on the edge of a steep cliff–”
“I can see him.”
“Quick– He slides down the cliff– swoop!
He jumps over the next bump to find himself
on padded ground.”
“I see The Little Man, Pappy!”
“The Little Man walks ahead to his little ledge–
He puts one foot in either track– he looks around
and bends his knees and looks to the right
and then to the left.”
“Does he see me?”
“The Little Man looks over
the edge of an even steeper cliff–”
“Does he see me?”
“The Little Man sees a little girl named L’il Bits Boogen
waaay down at the bottom of the cliff.”
“Pappy– make him fly!”
“The Little Man’s looking down–”
“Jump!”
“He’s looking around–”
“He’s gonna fly!”
“The Little Man’s thinking of flying, any second–”
“Make him fly!”
“He’s testing the wind.”
“Make him jump!”
“He’s thinking of jumping–”
“JUMP!”
“Jump! The Little Man’s flying down to Boogie! Weeeee!”
“Weeeeee!”
I’m sitting on My Tomato-coloured Couch
eating a “croisant”–
Eliza gets mad at Me
for NOT pronouncing the “R”–
She’s off on a 7-hour drive
to Cape Breton
towing a trailer of sail boats
& She’s still 17–
leaving Her First Serious Boyfriend
for 5 days
steering the Escape steering wheel
with Her Left Knee
while She Texts Him
The Hawk Deck 7:20 pm
HOUSES I HAVE WORKED ON
If My Mother worked on a house
does that count for Me?
She rubbed lemon oil into My Father’s Furniture
before the move to McNutt Island
when I was a child–
I did re-paint My Bedroom there
before the arrival of My First Husband
Then He & I pregnant with Our First Born
built The Thoreau House–
the one-room post & beam
We wouldn’t sell for a million dollars
He & I fixed up The Shakespeare House
in Shelburne for My Mother–
She paid us–
& then We bought our own
with no electricity & no plumbing–
I put My Soul into that Atlantic House
if not My Heart
& then My Mother died
& My Days of House-fixing were over.
–
I had Eliza & an affair
with an adoring doctor–
My Second Husband now–
& The House He & I have on The Hawk
should be My Final Resting Place–
though I feel It may not be
despite all the trim here
I have painted:
Living Room, Dining Room
Family Room, Hallway
Balcony, Stairs
& Corner Room–
and all The Artwork I have hung
Joanna Gilman Hyde 