The Hawk Out Post 12:29pm
In The Little Wood
behind Our House
The Deer hide
and come out every evening
to feed upon the neighbour’s grain
and decorate Our Lawn with Their Trottings
returning to Their Wood
They know so well
as I know only by Its distant façade:
under clouds edged in darker grey
a bank of scrub spruce
concealing creatures
Who may never know
The Sky
The Hawk Queen Bed 9:44pm
I think I know what Psychosis is
— or at least I can try
to explain It, briefly —
as It happens to Me:
It, The Psychotic State Of Mind
AND
BODY*
is the intense focus on One’s
surroundings —
It is One’s Perception
and The Mind’s reaction to that
Perception
as I am caught now
hearing The Peepers
and a slow car coming out
of a gravelled driveway
across the road
*I believe Mind and Body are interchangeable
The Tomato-coloured Couch 6:41pm
I was once walled in
by plexi-glass & counter tops
filing cabinets & indoor-outdoor carpeting
My Performance of trying to live or die
was put on display
& written about in nurses’ journals
I was made to eat food
I could not taste
& made to shower
when all I wanted to do
was drown in the tub
Now I Am Here
on The Hawk where the only wall
makes up My Kitchen Glass Doors:
They Slide Open
I Can Walk Through
To The Outside
To The Bird Calls
Of Life
The Tomato-coloured Couch 5:30pm
I once looked in a mirror
in My Private Bath
behind My Room
at The Yarmouth Regional Psych Unit
to see a face
I did not recognize:
slouched, forlorn, perplexed
The Face I See Now
in the multiple mirrors
of Our Hawk House
is MY FACE
The Hawk Deck 4:43pm
I Have A Stigmata
applied twice daily
with a Q -Tip
to My Right Cheek
(facial, that is)
I’m killing a part of Me —
a part of unfavourable growth —
I march around proudly
with the evidence of Sun
The Hawk En Suite Bath 1:32pm
I sit in a swath of Sun
where once I sat
in a Moon Beam
& got up to write
It out
I have come
full circle
where Night is now
Day
& I am Seeing
The Breadth Of Light
*Jesus Jones 1991
The Hawk West Desk Window 10:14am
The Cape has turned moss green
overnight
I gaze out across
Its growth of dunes
serene against the overcast sky
inlet tide — the rich grey
of My Husband’s Hair
while He’s in The Tub
The Hawk West Desk Window 9:25pm
I have slid through
the doors of powerful men
been followed home
by a complete rainbow
then there was a third thing
but I’ll be damned
if I can remember It
Barrington, NS 4:30pm
I Am That Child
climbing into Her Father’s Shopping Cart
talking in complete sentences
about The Monkeys at The Zoo
and The Snake in
The Snake House
–
I Am That Child
with blond hair pulled back
into a pony tail
asking Her Mother, repeatedly
“Who You wavin’ at, Mom?”
–
I Am That Dark Haired Child
alone beside a rock
with two sticks
as drum sticks
turning away from Old Men
to examine
Her Own Play
